I got up early today to take care of some business, and one of the things at the top of the list was to exchange the food processor from yesterday.

Exchanging it was pretty easy. I got to Target as they opened and was only the 2nd person in line. I made sure to get a box that was clearly unopened and traded it for the piece they sold me yesterday, making sure to let the customer service rep know that it should not go back on the shelf.

Once I got it home, I set it up got all the veggies out and hit that ON switch.

Nothing.

What? Really? No way!

I refused to believe that a second one also did not work and looked more closely at the appliance. That was when I saw this:

That was when I realized that it said ‘handle’. I picked up the main container, repositioned it so the handle lined up with the text there and gave it another go.

Guess what? It worked. How do you like that.

Guess I made an extra trip to Target and harrassed the staff for no good reason other than my own stupidity. Or, as we like to call it in my world, bad user interface! Yeah, that’s it.

Anyhoo, the thing is awesome, worked like a charm, ground up the veggies for the dog like a charm. The only complaint I have is that since I am pulping out such a small amount, I have to repeatedly scrape down the sides, otherwise it just sticks there avoiding the blades. Otherwise, it gets a thumbs up from me.

Status: In daily rotation

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There are a few things in my life that I have always wanted but never found a reason to actually go out and purchase. One of those things happens to be a food processor. While I have found myself lusting after one here and there, I never really could justify the cost. When I come across recipes that require a food processor, I simply passed it over. It seemed to be one of those appliances that really required a dedicated cook, and that I was not.

Well, yesterday I finally found a justification - the dog. I have been reading up on a raw food diet for the dog and one of the items that falls into the recipe is vegatable pulp. I have been feeding the dog veggies for the last month or so, but really it has become a time consuming task, since dogs do not have the capacity to break down the cellulose walls of the veggies. This means that I need to do it for her. Since I have been lacking the processor to pulp up the veggies, I hve been doing it by hand with a knife. This can take quite some time as you can imagine. Yesterday, my husband suggested that we get a food processor so we can start feeding her a proper raw food diet. That was all I needed. The next day, I ran us over to Target to pick one up. I was prepared for prices starting at $100, but when I found was surprising. There were processors ranging from $29 - $89. Shit man, turns out I could have justified this cost a long ass time ago.

After comparing each model, we eventually settled on the Black & Decker Textured Series 500 watt Food Processor for $49 over the KitchenAid 7-Cup Food Processor for $89. I did not really see too much of a difference between the two and in the end, it was the price difference that sold me.

It was not until we were paying for it (and the other 18 things that ended up in our cart as trips to Target goes) that I noticed the box had been opened and taped shut. I pushed aside my initial reaction to trade it for an unopened box in order to get over that part of consumerism. My husband and I shrugged and continued with our purchase. Obviously, someone changed their mind and brought it back. No problem there, I figured.

When we got home, it happened to be dinner time for the pooch, so I went about setting up the new appliance to create her very first homemade meal. The first thing I noticed was a wee crack in the lid. I, again, pushed aside my initial reaction to return it and figured I would just call Black and Decker and ask them to send me out a replacement.

When I finally set up it, I decided that a test spin was in order before beginning to shove spinach and zuccinni in the thing. I pushed the pulse button and …. nothing. I pushed the on button…..nothing. I checked to make sure the base was locked in place. It was. I checked to make sure the blade was in place properly it was. The power light was on so I know it was not the outlet. I checked the manual to see if I was missing something….nada.

The fucking thing is broken and was clearly returned for that reason. Target, put it back on the shelf. Damn them.

I stuffed everything back into the box without packing it properly in an attempt to keep it from going back onto the shelf.

Guess what I am doing tomorrow?

Sigh.

Years ago I found myself in Bali, chilling. I visited every corner of that island, from the artist friendly towns in the mountains to the beaches and smaller islands a few miles off the coast. One thing that I found to be consistent during that whole trip was the appearance of a ‘jaffle’ on most menus.

Not knowing what it really was, I went ahead and ordered one. How bad could something be if the varieties included ham/cheese or banana/honey (among others). A ‘jaffle’ as it turned out was a grilled, sealed sandwich, and, delicious. At one bed and breakfast I managed to spy one of the cooks making one. The thing was an iron round press on a long handle that sat over an open fire. Much like this thing:

Minus the embossed logo in the sandwich and the round shape (the ones in Bali were square) and add a bit more of a primative look.

Anyhow, the point I am trying to make is that I enjoyed the hell out of those sandwiches enough to make me want to recreate them back home.

Once I got back to the states, the closest thing I could find to make some jaffles was the Toastmaster Sandwich maker, which I quickly picked up and put to use. First off, the name itself is a misnomer as the thing does not make the sandwich for you, but simply grill the thing. Let’s be real here. Aside from that little nitpit, I found some key differences - once being the seam in the middle that split/seals the single sandwich in two pieces. That split center really limits the amount of ingredients per sandwich. Sealing it off like that allows for less inside. Additionally, if you want to put anything that does not separate by heat alone, say, ham, then you have to make sure that you do not intersect that seam, otherwise you are still going to have to pull out a knife.

Second issue is that is it not big enough for a standard slice of bread, which means that you have to prep the bread first and slice off the crusts. Major pain in the ass when all you want to do is slap some bread, cheese and ham in the thing. Also, if you accidentally cut the bread too small, you screw up your sealing.

Which brings me to the last problem with this device. Sealing. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. It all depends on the ratio of bread surface area : ingredients. If you do not have a perfect ratio, be prepared to have a poorly put together sandwich.

Overall, I do not recommend this item as it has too many rules to stick to. I wish I had seen the Diablo stovetop sandwich maker before getting this Toastmaster, but such is life before high-speed wireless. Maybe someday I will check the Diablo out, but for now, a pan works just fine.

Status: Used about 4 times over 6 years. Eventually given to a friend, where I am positive it remains dormant in her cupboard.